I Had to make Cheese to Survive

When all available cheese is imported, what’s a man to do?

It was the day before Christmas and the to-do list was a’flutter.
I had run around the city and collect everything I’d need to decorate the apartment and disguise the peeling paint.

I’d bought everything off the grocery list except two things I’d not managed to find. Deli meats and cheeses.

Never fear

I told myself, Eleme is here. My favourite food delivery app offered everything I’d ever needed. (I live in Shanghai, that’s why I casually dropped the name of an app you may not of ever heard of).

I figured we’d be fine with Eleme’s bounties and casually made an order for a half dozen varieties of cheeses and meats. I figured I’d make a charming platter and arrange it with some bread and olives.

I could never have prepared myself for the shock and horror that was coming my way.

The cheese that was delivered was hard and dark yellow. It had clearly been cut weeks ago and had been left to dry out in a cold, barren fridge somewhere.