How I Got Started Writing Erotica
I’ve written and self published a lot of books in my life.
The majority of books I’ve written were ghost-written for others who wanted their name on the cover of a book. (Without having to actually write anything).
In addition to these, there are a few dozen other books out there that I’ve written. They’re floating around the internet, sporting a variety of my pen names.
These books live around different corners of the web and generate a soft income year-round.
This income stream usually picks up around Christmas time, then dies almost completely during the summer.
I’m talking about erotic novels. My beautiful, dirty little money trees.
In the beginning times
There was once a time in my life I wrote “normal books”.
By normal, I’m referring to books that the average writer is happy to put their own name onto.
These were mostly autobiographical books about my travels and the interesting jobs I’ve held over the years.
The first book I published to Kindle was about my time working as a performer at Walt Disney World in Florida.
The reception I received for this book was so disastrously negative, I vowed to use a pen name for the rest of my life.
The book was mercilessly trashed by others who worked at Disney.
Some questioned the accuracy of my recollection of events, while others called my entire employment into question.
Others thought I exaggerated events, while a few thought that Disney should take me to court for speaking too openly about backstage stories.
However, the overall feeling from the Disney community was that I had broken the rules by speaking up.
I was shut out and hated.
While the book never called into question the legitimacy of a real life Mickey Mouse or any other such whimsical belief, critics claimed that my book destroyed the magic.
I lost a lot of friends over that damn thing.
It stopped me writing for more than a year.
Picking up the pieces
After working for Walt Disney World, I worked aboard cruise ships for 5 years.
During this time I thought constantly about writing another book of my adventures.
I read books written by others who’d had cruise careers before me. Their books were pretty average.
There was definitely a void for a good, exciting, and accurate account of life spent living aboard a ship.
While aboard a ship, I actually committed the horrible act that had previously been committed against me.
I wrote a scathing review of one of the books that had been written about cruise ship life by someone else.
The book told stories that just physically couldn’t have happened on a ship.
There are policies in place on every ship that protect the people onboard.
Any story that flies in the face of these policies is just too unbelievable.
But when I really think about it, I know I’m in the wrong.
I didn’t lash out because he’d exaggerated a story, I kicked because I’d been kicked.
The wound was as fresh as ever.
The wound stayed open for years and didn’t begin to repair until I wrote my first smutty sentence.
My first dirty paragraph was written as an attempt to escape boredom.
I was living in China at the time and was being forced to write lesson plans for my job.
I was writing the longest lesson plan of my career and was just so goddamn bored.
Because of my boredom, I was in a porny mood.
I didn’t want to actually look up porn, because getting a VPN working would have been a whole thing. (No porn allowed in China).
So instead I wrote a dirty paragraph into my lesson plan.
It felt wild. It felt dangerous.
I closed the plan and reopened it.
I then read it as if someone else had written it.
I was hooked.
I felt the closeted rejection melt away during the moments I began fleshing out the story.
F*ck off lesson plan. I’ve got other plans for this Word document.
It only took me an hour before the story was 3,000 words long. It was insane, bonkers, and raunchy as hell.
I had my fun, then deleted the story.
I couldn’t get the story out of my head, and couldn’t shake the feeling of intense therapy.
I’d turned a corner! I’d made progress in healing the scars of years earlier.
In the months that followed, I’d started blogging again, and had launched a successful side-hustle on Fiverr.
Things were going smoothly, but I badly missed my original story about two people finding unlikely love on a spaceship.
Then I developed a bladder infection. Yay me.
The pain was horrible, but the painkillers were amazing.
I hate to admit this next part, because I know the damage that opioids have on thousands of peoples lives.
As bad as it is to admit, the drugs gave me the confidence to re-write my story.
I breathed new life into the characters I’d murdered.
Not only that, I had the confidence to invent a writer, make him an Amazon Author Central page, then publish the story onto Amazon.
The drugs turned me into an erotic writer. I felt free! I felt alive.
Eventually I ran out of medication, but I didn’t run out of ideas.
I was sober when I published the sequel… then the sequel to that sequel… then the sequel to that sequel……
There was no stopping me.
I don’t publish so much erotic fiction anymore.
They’ve served their purpose, and helped me recover from an awful time in my life.
But who knows? The need may arise again.
So if that happens, it may be time for my fictional author persona to come out of retirement.
Time to get started?
If you’d like tips on getting started as an erotic writer, step right this way…
Otherwise, I have some other selections for you below. Happy reading! (And writing!)